Pick Me!

     To whomever this may concern,

     I am vivacious, agile, and abounding. You have never seen a human being like me.

     I have stood on the North Pole, planted a tree, and sent a message in a bottle to Chili. Currently, I hold the world record for the most hot dogs fit in a humans mouth. I take all credit for the creation of ready made pizza. I have watched the Harry Potter series in one sitting and can cast spells with sticks from my backyard. At the age of 7 I preformed a lobotomy.

     I can fall backwards into pools of Nestea at any given moment. My greatest achievement has been sky diving with no parachute off the Eiffel Tower. I have saved children from a burning building. When I was 2 I read "Don Quixote" in a half hour. I have traveled back in time and saved John F. Kennedy from his asassin. I created myspace, mashed potatoes, and cell phone cases.

     People know me as the most interesting mortal alive. I have had a conversation with an elephant, stepped out of a plane while in the air, and been buried alive. I dance, compose, frolic, and have the ability to survive a nuclear attack. I have walked across the Sahara Desert and back in 12 hours. I have played all of Mozarts sonatas on every instrument possible.

     And the last thing I have to do to make my life complete is to go to your university.